I SHIPPED MY COUCH!

I SHIPPED MY COUCH!

Dear Dr. Kittens,

I was watching Netflix last night, and I was really enjoying Interstellar (2014). This time I stayed awake for the whole thing. The actor that plays Jamie on Yellowstone, Wes Bentley, was one of the astronauts. Also the main character’s son, Tom, as a teenager was played by Timothee Chalamet. This was reassuring as I thought both these actors came out of thin air.

Anyway I’ve been getting over a very mild case of Covid and was very gassy (this is a symptom of Covid). The film was almost over and one of these staccatto farts turned out to be was more than a fart. I got up to get to the downstairs bathroom while this brown gopher slowly emerged from his hole. Each step revealed more gopher. I made it to the throne, but it took a shower to get cleaned up. I know this is not great but my real fear is: can this happen again anytime?

I mean, having poor bowel control is not super great.

Sincerely,

Anxious Couch Shipper

Dear Anxious Couch Shipper,

I hear you and the whole thing is funny. At least for you you were likely wearing pants. With me Im commando all the time and my bath routine is all by mout as Im a cat. You can imagine how bad this might be if I ever ship a couch. Really I mostly throw up and sort of do it everywhere. One of my humans usually cleans it up… although; lately the whole place is a disaster.

Seriously if you have Covid , you should regain control of your bowels once the virus is clear. As an extra measure of safety, bring a spare set of clothing to work. Tell a friend at work they’re your designated clothing getter if there’s a problem. Make sure this person is not a rival for some future job you want. Being a spontaneous shipper may not be a great attribute in case I’m wrong about this problem clearing. Always take your phone when going to the bathroom or get an apple watch with a cellular connection so you can avoid having to walk back to your desk with poop up your back. Or, institute a new company policy that offers large towels or robes in every bathroom as you want everyone to feel safe should they ship their pants. I think the frst plan maybe smarter.

Good luck,

Dr. Kittens